Why I hate birthdays

Volume I

I hope no one notices that my birthday is nearing. Wait, How old am i? Wow. That’s old, how did I grow that fast? Does it even mean anything? Does anything mean anything? Time is just a social construct. If you calculate, we actually don’t celebrate our birthday at the exact moment. Not even the exact day. If you’re 20, you’re definitely celebrating your birthday 5 days misplaced. Don’t make me explain, you probably won’t understand the physics of revolution.

And then comes the planning. Ugh, this shit every year!

“No, I’m sure I really don’t want to do anything. Seriously”

“Yes, I will enjoy my birthday! And staying home and eating ice cream is enjoyable”

“Yes it is. Yeah I get you wouldn’t want a low-key birthday, but this isn’t your birthday”

“STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME TREAT MY BIRTHDAY LIKE YOU TREAT YOURS”

Sigh. “Yeah, ok. I’ll let you know if I change my mind” *slams head on door*

Okay, what’s my game plan for tomorrow? How many people know it’s my birthday?*shudders*                   I should switch off my phone before midnight.

Here we go. “Happy birthday Mustareeeeeeyyyy”  *Nervous breakdown*

“Hey, easy on the vowels buddy, thanks” I don’t feel any different. Of course I don’t feel any different. The social conditioning behind birthdays is just bullshit.

I didn’t even do anything to earn the attention. Shouldn’t today be about mom?

Sigh. It’s nice to have people who care about me. I appreciate the attention, I just don’t need it. More accurately, I don’t want it. At least not all day!

Wait, why aren’t many people wishing me? What? Snap out of it!

“Happy birthday, Shweta.” Yeah, enough wishes for today. With those I’ll live another hundred years. Definitely don’t want another hundred birthdays though. *Nooo*

Most of the day gone through. “Nope, I’m sure I still don’t want to do anything.”

11:59 pm I survived!

“Happy birthday for the last time” Ugh. You can’t even give me a minute of peace in the whole day?

You give me special attention on one day and forget to even include my feelings in your plan on another. Then what is the use of celebrating? Celebrating for my birth? Or acting kind to me only on one particular day. And guess what? I don’t even get to choose the day.

It’s not only about birthdays. It’s about any other special occasion. You thank God for giving you what you have, but on the same Thanksgiving Day you push people to get further in the line, 20 inches nearer to the sales counter.

If you really want to show affection to that person, may it be your girlfriend or boyfriend, your best friend, your mom or dad, show it to them every day of the year! Make them feel it’s their birthday every day. Or don’t shove decorations and cake in their face on their birthday.

And it is really funny though when someone’s birthday is nearing. You’re not supposed to tell them how irritating they’re being because their birthday is next week.

“I want to tell you that you’re being an ass, but I’ll keep it to myself because I don’t want to get uninvited to your birthday party and miss the food”

And the birthday boy/girl owns the whole week, some even the whole month. They can act barbaric and cruel to everyone, no one’s gonna spit a word, because they don’t want to hurt someone when their birthday is nearing. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard.

Shouldn’t people answer for their behavior to their “closed” ones, they can’t get excused because it’s their birthday, wedding anniversary, it’s the New Year, or having a baby. Actually I’ll stay away from the baby case, it’s the hormones, isn’t it?

So the next time you wish someone their birthday, ask yourself do you really mean the “happy” in it, and if yes, then do that person a favor. Act that way with them the whole year.

And birthday celebrations are like boogers, the more you have, the harder it is to breathe.

And for all people celebrating it today, I’d only like to say-

“May you live to be old and toothless, because that smile’s gonna be hilarious”

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Priyanka says:

    OK…now i’ll make sure to wish you every 5 minutes on your birthday …..STARTING FROM NOW……HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE MUSTARRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEYYYY 😛

    Like

    1. Haha, now that’s what makes birthdays extra special, warm and extra sweet. *Call in for diabetes* :’D

      Like

  2. You have a point! Being a leap year baby ( yup I was born on 29th 🙂 doesn’t make any difference. People are still annoying… 😕

    Like

    1. I envy you. You’ve to go through it only once in four years.

      Liked by 1 person

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